We named our party play list daddy issues
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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