question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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