you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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