There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
