Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
