He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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