He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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