I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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