Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
