the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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