I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
