Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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