worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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