I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
