I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
