I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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