Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
