it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
