I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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