Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
soo... how was my night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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