Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
