that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
