: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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