My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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