never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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