we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
