I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
