I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
