i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
