I'm jealous of your bromance
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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