More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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