ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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