Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
