Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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