i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
