im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
