just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
