I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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