Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
