oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
