I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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