I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
