help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
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I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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