what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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