I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
