If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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