It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
