I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
