I love black thongs
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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