Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
tell me about the eggs
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