You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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