we have officially lost it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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