It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
