I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
