Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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