As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
