Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
