Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
