Well apparently he's into motor boating.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize