Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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