i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
