i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
