put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
